Mindset, personal development and nourishing your soul

Your brain is like a sifter.

 

Your brain sifts through all the information in a nano second.


What’s good, what’s relevant, what’s not.


But there is one caveat to that.

 

It’s based on 3 things, your:

  1. Self-Concept:  Your filtered perception of who you think you are set by age 8. 
  2. Emotional capacity: Ability to feel all kinds of emotion. Let’s face it, as a child you were likely handed something to help you feel better vs. feel bad when something goes wrong. As an adult, you’ll easily look for this same way only it looks different than being handed a chance to go to the park when Patty flat-left you, or the school trip was canceled.  It was replaced with feeling happy right away, not pausing to allow you or know how to feel negative emotion — still with you when you are sitting down to do that tough project, for your business or work out a plan & gain clarity desired but has you overthinking more instead of taking action to find out — you’ll easily  avoid, escape, resist them as an adult.
  3. Self-Awareness level: When you don’t know how to see or manage mindset, and be able to pluck it out and see it with curiosity not judgment and your inner critic getting in the way or even to know if it’s serving you, often keeping you at arms length of where you wish to be.


Your brain looks through this lens of your preconceived self-concept based upon past and then tack on the lack of emotional capacity, your own limited awareness level to decipher what’s true, what’s not, 

 

All through approximately 75,000 thoughts you are having per day.

 

Whew, it’s trying it’s best to be efficient as possible, avoid pain and danger and seeking safety at the same time and getting the needed dopamine it thinks its needed to survive. 

 

Only guess what, you and I don’t live in cave man days. 


Your primitive part of your  brain has not evolved to where you are now.  This is the subconscious part of your brain on repeat automatically drives your behavior — where your beliefs are set even if you didn’t choose them purposely. 

 

Technology, SM, your life, the housing, the buildings, the cars, the food, and everything in it is growing and evolving exponentially everyday — only your brain is filtering through this preset lens of who you think you are set 40 years ago based upon your parents preconceived beliefs and so on and so on. 

 

It’s not evolving as fast and still has this set safety mechanism to guide you from literally dying — often just repeating generational messes from your parents, grandparents, and anything you picked up along the way. 

 

It learns through repetition and think and believe something enough, you take it on as a belief about yourself, that maybe you don’t feel good enough, matter or whatever — limiting your life today.


You’ll have a hard time following through to reach any goal especially in your second half and you are going after new things, new ambitions, maybe a new business or idea you had.


You’ll have to have the emotional capacity to feel negative emotion much bigger than your preset thermometer set at a low disappointment level when things get heavy in worrying about what someone thinks or if something is right or wrong. 


Your brain’s goal is safety and did I tell you it like to be right.  It doesn’t like change which is hard when you have something have new ideas that needs to be flushed out, that feels uncomfortable in your body. 

 

Here’s what often happens when we have big goals especially as women in the second half:

 

  • You’re following all the rules/habits learned as women passed down from passed generations and society norms —> you’ve left yourself last on the list for years doing for everyone else, people pleasing everyone else instead of yourself. 

 

  • You’re using things outside yourself to feel better (unknowingly), cleaning, chores, shopping, cocktails, IG perusing, latest Netflix series, or that big crazy world stressful crap happening going on at any given time — lets face it, bad things happen all the time but maybe it has you getting side tracked and doing nothing because it feels like whats the point when all this negative stuff is going on and I feel stupid pursuing this goal when there is much bigger things your brain thinks it should be worrying about, the list goes on – starting over every week because you are not following through. 

 

  • You know what you want, but can’t seem to get yourself to do it so you wind up stopping by Wednesday or working on things that aren’t even that important to creating the result you desire in your business.  You keep trying to make it perfect, don’t want to be wrong, not feeling good enough as such & such, thinking someone else has better answers or the answer so you start working on something else. Confused yet?


This happens more often if you’ve had a challenging childhood or some stressful events in your life that your body, although it’s a completely different situation, it doesn’t recognize the difference — this is where mind and body and body and mind are connected. The body remembers that stressful feeling and now when it shows up, it likes to escape and avoid instead of feel it or look at it with curiosity, not letting it get in the way.


Now that you’ve had a science lesson, h
ere’s truly what needs to change, if you want to start creating results you desire in your life especially taking action in your business or any area.


So before you start digging into changing direction, a new project, a new course, a new program — your brain finds comfort in doing those. Notice if you ever get to the hard part you abort mission!


I don’t want you to continue getting bamboozled by your own brain, it’s your friend not your foe but it’s based on old programming — making money, losing weight or some life change you desire to make in your life, needs a reset.

 

There are 3 caveats to help permanently change this around:

  1. Changing your beliefs about yourself. Rewiring your brain and resetting it to what you want to believe about yourself and your life based upon your future self not your past.
  2. Learn how to allow negative emotions to be in your body, instead of trying to not feel them or reacting to them, escaping and avoiding them all the time possibly without much awareness you are, not getting very far in your goals. 
  3. Raise your awareness to what the hec your mind is actually believing as true so you know what’s driving your behavior as you can’t change what you aren’t aware of.   


So when you find yourself stuck in doubt, overwhelm and confusion you can move through it, it doesn’t have to drive your behavior anymore keeping you stuck.
 These indulgent emotions keep you spinning at the door to success more times that you want and when you know what to do when they come, you’ll have tools and concepts to move through them. 


It’s a game changer and sustainable.  Real change. 

 

No more using food for comfort and gaining weight in the meantime when you can’t sit to figure your project out in your business no matter how you are feeling. 

 

No more going on FB when things feel overwhelming and confusing in your business or that great idea, and next thing you know Sally’s dog passed away and now you’re on Amazon looking for something to cheer her up (not saying to ignore your friend Sally, but this what our brains attach to — safety, pleasure and wants it now)


You can not change what you aren’t aware of is the cause of your problem or symptom.  

 

Raising your awareness so you can see what’s in the way because most of us can not see what is rolling around in our minds at any given time.  We have 75,000 thoughts a day!  


They are creating your personal reality in your life.

 

Your brain is the most powerful tool you have to change your life.

 

It’s possible to have everything you desire when you start to change your beliefs about yourself, increase your emotional capacity to feel and raising your awareness to your own thoughts and mindset.

 

You may think you know, but if you did you’d already achieved what you desired.

 

This is why the process I use helps really helps clients make sustainable change — we reset and rewire your brain.  We learn the process of feeling your emotions vs. escaping them when they arrive in your body or you feel triggered by what someone says or does.  And, you’ll learn what thoughts you are having that are causing a particular result — I promise we think we know but you’re human and you’ll believe your stories as true.

 

This is where  taking action becomes second nature, not a struggle having the same goals every week, month & year trying to make money in your business but can’t even seem to take action since you are always indulging in confusion and doubt and not feeling good enough.


Especially for us multipassionate women — having many talents might have you not choosing one.  Going all in a specific idea and you are trying to cover all the bases.  It’s like double-edged sword, you’ll constantly look to finding clarity & certainty you crave before you actually start but instead of taking action to find it, it keeps you stuck and sometimes trying to solve the  wrong problem.

 

You have everything inside you right now and I can help show you the way.

 

If you want to be successful in your business, health or life and start following through on your goals and ideas instead of constantly avoiding, let’s chat.  I can help you!


Please leave a comment on what you find difficult to follow through on in your life or business?

When you stop perfecting, constantly doubting & changing your mind,

you’ll lower your anxiety.

But how do you do that when you keep finding yourself in doing it?

It’s a decision you make in your mind.

Perfectionism is not a trait that really serves you.

It holds you back, from finishing or accomplishing at least in a timely manner and sometimes ever.

It keeps you spinning.

It confuses you.

It will play tricks in your head to try to make it better.

It just keeps you stuck — unnecessarily.

You can decide there is no such thing as perfect and 80% or even 70% is good enough.

To your brain, it feels like it’s going to die

— literally it would rather keep you in indecision, doubt and confusion than making some decisions and see what happens.

so it keeps you doubting, perfecting

which ironically actually feels more comfortable in your body (even though you might not think anxiety feels great ha, ha)

But it’s actually saving you from feeling:  embarrassment and shame!

There is a fine line between the resistance you feel and perfectionism.

They both feel pressure and heavy but they keep you away from what you desire. 

You won’t recognize the resistance if you are new to this work,

you’ll keep believing your brain when it tells you it’s not good enough, that you’re not good enough — and it’s likely subconsciously hiding under your radar, even if consciously you are telling yourself you are good enough.  

The resistance you feel will pull you away and have you doing something else so be careful. 

You might even think you have a focus & procrastination problem.

When you recognize it, you can change it.

And, you don’t even need to go down a complete rabbit hole of your past — I’m going to save you time right now.

When you tend to be a perfectionist…

  • you might be afraid of what others think, even if you tell yourself that’s not the case.
  • you think you have to have it perfect, it’s the only way.
  • you will convince yourself, it’s not ready, it could be better.
  • you love the outside recognition it gives you when you are finally ready to put it out there, you’ll use it to feel good about yourself.
  • you can’t wait to finish so you can finally feel proud of yourself after it’s completed — one for the books, for the accomplishment even if it took you years (or 10 more hours than it actually should of) — no shame either way ;).

Your brain actually can finish things when you give it a specific time to do it in. 

The result you want.

So next time you find yourself in a pickle of trying to do something perfectly,

and you are procastinating, doubting or just getting anxious when it doesn’t feel perfect

try this:

before you even start, give yourself a specific amount of time to do it in. 

Your brain will figure it out.

If you are good at it (no pun intended) you’ll know exactly how much time you’ll need ahead of time.

You might fail the first few times at the allotted time but I promise you, you’ll get better at estimating without allowing the crazy pressure you put on yourself to perfect it. You brain will now know what to expect from you to.  

It decreases decision fatigue because you decided ahead of time instead of giving yourself 2 weeks for a project when it really required 2-4 hours. 

Stop believing your brain when it tells you it’s not good enough or your not good enough, don’t let it derail you, constrain your focus, decide the time and go all in on creating the result you want in that time frame.  It works. 

Thanksgiving just a few days away often our emotions can run wild.

And by wild, I mean stress for a variety of reasons – loved ones no longer with us, illness, worry for one reason or another or just getting together with family and/or friends and bringing together a variety relationships under one roof, at times — can be uneasy.  Or, possibly you are alone and feel sad.  

Or,  you are the host and are adding stress on an already tired body trying to pull it all together seamlessly having your guests over.

As a human you are an emotional being.  

We have both negative and positive emotions at any given time — as is supposed to be.

Most humans aren’t taught really how to deal with emotions especially as a child.  

You grow up with your parents/caregivers/family/teachers/other people thinking they are doing good by saying — don’t be sad, don’t cry, or be angry, worry, scared, nervous, disappointed, you shouldn’t be upset, chin up, here’s a lollipop — learning no coping skills especially if you tend to have anxiety and didn’t/still don’t know what to do with it.  

What you resist persists & seems an even bigger feeling in your body when you resist. 

As a human you are rigged to avoid danger, in the most efficient way and seek pleasure/comfort — this often leads to unwanted behaviors and habits you don’t even know your body is favoring because it’s automatic and unconscious.  

This also can lead to addictive behaviors as a coping mechanism.

Some lend anxiety itself as a bodily physiological response that just happens –  you’ll notice heart rate goes up, pounding sensation in your chest, sweating, etc leading into what is known as a “full blown panic attack” and you have no idea why.  

Without going into a “full blown” details because everyone situation is different  — whether it seems automatic or not or related to a past traumatic situation.  Most often anxiety is directly coming from your thought even though it doesn’t seem that way in the moment.  And, for the sake of this post – it can be hard to catch it in the moment as you are in it.

Emotions are born from our thoughts not circumstances — although it could feel its automatic and unconscious response and is often left unprocessed.  You just want it to subside.  

In today’s world, it’s normal to be under lots of stress just with all the technology available at your fingertips and the constant “neediness” of your attention.  Ping here, ping there.

It can seem like a lot to handle in the moment. 

I can tell you — feelings can’t harm you. 

And — the better you get at feeling and processing them, the better your health and wellbeing will be.  

The better you get at doing life!

Learning to process feelings will make them seem less intense especially when they appear again because you can’t avoid emotions.  

And, if you have avoided them maybe your entire life, I encourage you to just take notice and start to change your approach.

You are an emotional being and life is 50% negative / 50% positive — always. 

So that doesn’t mean you’ll never feel that emotion that you don’t want to feel again — it means you can learn to handle any emotion — even strong anxious ones that freak you out!

Your willingness to FEEL is huge. 

You do it all the time but it’s usually the Happy one you want or you don’t even notice it because your body automatically welcomes it and feels it — you just feel happy or excited or elated — those are wonderful!   

But what about the ones you don’t want to feel 😭.  

Like when sadness comes, it’s a whole different story. 

You don’t want to feel those but it’s important to as well. 

When you are in a stressful situation — sad, anxious, disappointed, lonely, grief, angry, uneasy, disgusted, any emotion for etc — you can learn to process and feel them.

Here’s a helpful way to deal and process emotions that you can practice next time a feeling comes you may not rather feel but very important to feel.

Become the watcher:

  1. Take a deep breath
  2. Close your eyes and continue to take breaths.
  3. Notice where the sensation you feel is in your body.  
  4. Where do you feel it the most?  Do you feel it in your chest?  Is it in the pit of your stomach? Your throat?  Notice exactly where it is – it’s different for everyone.
  5. Take several slow deep belly breaths (filling the air in your stomach not your chest) — this takes practice because automatically you want to breathe in up through your chest — you want the air to fill in your belly instead.  This will calm you, not heighten your feeling.
  6. Name it.  What is the feeling you are feeling?
  7. Breathe and just let it be there.  Keep noticing where you feel it. Becoming the watcher!
  8. Describe it. 
    1. Is it hard, does it have a color?  What does it look like?  Is it heavy and dark?  Is it zagged, soft, round, fast etc?  
  9. Put your hand on the area you feel it and comfort yourself to know you got you.
  10. Let whatever emotion there is, just be there, let yourself actually feel the emotion.  
  11. Take all the time you need, but you will notice at this point, it will get lighter.
  12. Maybe it’s moving, maybe it’s dissipating throughout your body.  Maybe it’s leaving.  Watch how and where it goes and breathe.
  13. Raising your awareness to the emotion in the body helps for your human body know – it’s okay to feel this way, you aren’t going to die.
  14. This releases the strong unwanted sensation and helps processing them.
  15. This also helps to let it go so you don’t harbor  emotions or avoid them next time which often tend to stagnate in your organs.  Leading to disease later in life.

So next time an emotion that feels awful.  Take a moment, sit down and take notice of it in your body, breathe and really digest it — think of it as the Pacman game back in the day!  Sad, hello, angry, it’s okay, anxious, I got you!

We are supposed to feel all emotions. 

When you realize you are capable of feeling any emotion is when you will realize just how powerful you really are as a person on this planet — willing to feel any emotion — even the ones that feel heavy and hard. 

You are way more powerful than you think!  All the things that may scare you, you can get to the other side!

Have a blessed holiday!  May peace and light be in you and your family during this time!

I encourage you to try this next time you are feeling stressed.

Having someone go through this process with you is also very helpful so please set up a completely FREE appointment. No pressure, just love and your emotions to feel – completely confidential.

On the call we take it deeper so you can learn and pinpoint the root cause of your stress right on this FREE discovery call!  Awareness is everything!!!!

It’s more important than ever to be boosting your health right now.

It’s not the time for fueling up on sugar, flour or anything inflammatory to your body.

Inflammation IS the pre-cursor to disease developing in your body.

But right now, during the Covid-19 pandemic our only defense is our own immune system.

We need to fuel our bodies with foods that help us not hurt us especially now.

Our emotional health also has a lot to do with how we fight disease. Right now our stress level might be a bit high to say the least. Learning to process negative emotion is key to handling stress in our bodies.  I just wrote another blog post on Why It’s Good to Feel Bad here which is an important part of being healthy.

When the emotional body and/or spiritual body is out of balance disease develops because often we suppress our emotions throughout our life.  It then might show up as a diseased condition but it didn’t begin at the physical realm.  The thought or emotion that triggered the condition to develop began in an environment that moves much faster; the world of emotion and spirit.  Learning to process emotions is the key to balance your emotional body.

But in this blog post, I want to talk about boosting your immune system through food and natural ways.

We need our own strength to give it a fighting chance not just now but as we age.

I think this is also a wake up call for a lot of people in our country and now realizing how much we need our health in a time like this.  The last 10 years we definitely have grown in this area that our food we eat affects our health.  Yet, the United States still has a growing problem of unhealthy individuals that could be reversible should they just change their daily eating habits.

Here’s 21 ingredients that you should include in your recipes that will help keep your health up:

  1. garlic (chop and let sit for 10 minutes so beneficial chemicals to release)
  2. onion
  3. greens/veggies (kale, spinach, romaine, broccoli, artichoke, arugula, asparagus, swiss chard, collards, broccoli rabe, cauliflower, (colored peppers, eggplant, tomato – night shades and in some, not all, individuals cause inflammation), etc.
  4. radishes
  5. cucumbers
  6. leeks
  7. organic stocks (grass-fed beef, chicken, veggie)
  8. almonds
  9. walnuts
  10. brazil nuts
  11. seeds
  12. ginger
  13. turmeric
  14. beans
  15. berries
  16. apples
  17. apricots
  18. wild fish (i.e. salmon)
  19. quinoa
  20. whole grains (if tolerated)
  21. citrus fruits

Here’s some herbs that can help support your lungs and/or immunity:

  1. mullein leaf (make into a tea along with schisandra berries for a support to your lungs) (delish!)
  2. astragalus (adaptogen to help support your lungs)
  3. ashwaganda (adaptogen to help support stress in your body)
  4. herbal teas such as green tea, echinacea, lemon balm, elderberry, passion tea, etc.

Drink water!!!!

You don’t see anything in a box, nothing has a label.

They are just natural whole foods.

When clients ask me what they should eat, it always starts with whole foods they like to eat and start to crowd out the unhealthy foods, start adding in more vegetables and build from there.  You slowly crowd out the unhealthy foods.

I’m a certified life and holistic health coach, if you need help around navigating and making sense out of your problems or want to get healthy or lose weight, now is always better than tomorrow to start working on making your life the best it could be.  I offer free 20 minute mini-sessions.  Contact me to get a link to my calendar.  I can’t wait to help you!

 

Why in the World Would I Want to Feel Bad Feelings?

Especially if they don’t feel good.

I know it seems counterintuitive.  But stay with me here.

As a human being, we have a primitive brain that is constantly wanting to seek pleasure.  When you experience discomfort in your body (negative emotion), your brain actually thinks you are in danger (in primitive times this served us) so its immediate response is to find comfort – pronto!

We spend a LOT of time avoiding, resisting feelings and acting irrationally and we don’t even realize it.  It kinda goes under our radar or it exasperates into something worse.

For example:

  • It’s why we look to eat or seek comfort foods even when we aren’t even hungry.
  • It’s why we might want a glass of wine or an alcoholic beverage on a stressful day.
  • It’s why you might find yourself doing a lot of other things besides the things you said you were going to do today.
  • It’s why we use medicine to calm the discomfort in our bodies when we experience anxiety.
  • It might be why you lash out at your partner or kids.

In 2016, Xanax (used for anxiety) was the 19th most prescribed medication in the United States, with more than 27 million prescriptions. 😱

All these things provide a quick dopamine hit to our brains — but what it really provides is a false pleasure that has net-negative consequences.

They may feel good in the moment but it usually doesn’t serve us long term.

We use all these things to escape our feelings.

These last few weeks, with the Corona Virus pandemic spreading throughout our world; anxiety, stress and uncertainty has increased exponentially.  

So let’s talk about why you would want to feel negative feelings in the first place.

Especially the ones that might feel bad like anxiety, disappointment, sadness, anger, frustration, uncertainty and any other negative emotion that comes up.

Actually, right now during this pandemic, is the perfect time to practice feeling negative emotion because it’s processing emotions that will help you actually help you feel better. 

Not wanting to feel negative emotion is like saying something is wrong with the way you feel.

Your brain wants to fix it immediately.

As crazy as this might sound, negative emotions don’t need to be fixed.

They need to be felt!

Even though we go through life thinking they do and we do everything in our power trying not feel them.

So why would we actually want to feel bad?

Because we are human and it’s part of the human experience.

All of it.  The good and bad.

Somehow, we think we are supposed to be happy ALL-OF-THE time.

And, we go through life thinking that is the goal but we will always be disappointed thinking that.

Here’s how we know:

  • Who wants to feel excited when their vacation or big event gets canceled?
  • Who wants to feel happy when their mom dies?
  • Who wanted to feel glad when they lose their job?
  • Who wants to feel excited when their children’s school is canceled?

I don’t know about you, but I want feel terrible when these things happen.

We are here to live the full human experience.  50% negative / 50% positive.

Our brains do not like uncertainty or feeling any discomfort.

It’s constantly looking to solve for certainty.  It looks to the news, as you scroll through social media, articles seeking for answers to solve for uncertainty.

It’s normal.  It’s what our brains want to do.

A desire to be happy all-the-time has a price – it has negative consequences.  It also cuts us off of living a full human experience.

We were born to live the human experience.  That. is. it.  It’s not all rainbows and daisies.

It has never been this way — have you noticed?  It will never be that way either.  Bad things happen.

Our life is supposed to include both negative and positive emotion.

With the Corona Virus pandemic, our brains seems to be hyper-focused on the doom and gloom and has our brains making things up that aren’t even true.

Have you noticed your brain going from one situation like I’m nervous about people not keeping their distance or still going out – being angry about it, then jumping to job loss, the economy, your friend who is a nurse that might get sick then the next thing you are watching the news and they are polling the numbers on the amount of deaths last night.

Stop.

None of this serves you.  Be informed but don’t overwhelm your brain with the negative.

Don’t start thinking of all the negative things that “might happen” to compound your emotion even worse.  And, if you do — then give equal air time to the positive.

Ask yourself what good is going to come from this.  Believe me there is a LOT of good too.

Here’s some:  the world is connecting in a different way (none of which probably would of been possible 15 years ago), some can work from home, kids are still learning online, having more connection with a loved one that you may have been disconnected with, better parenting skills if you have kids at home.

Listen we can think of the bad but we have to also have to give our brains fair play for the good.

So — I’m not going to leave you flat with all your negative emotion and not know what to do with it — as if there is actually something to do with it.   So…

Next time you experience negative emotion your body.

Just notice it.

Take a seat.

Don’t judge it.

Allow it to just there in your body.

How does it feel?  Describe it.

Does it feel heavy?

Does it feel light?

Where is it in your body?

Is it at the pit of your stomach, in your throat, top of your chest?

Where in your body do you feel it most?

Does it feel hard, soft, fast, slow.

If it were to have a color, what color would it be?  Red, green, black or ??

Breathe it in.

Just feel the emotion.

Just let it be there.

Do not react.

Do not resist.

Do not avoid.

Just let it be there.

Breathe.

Just notice that you feeling the emotion is not really harmful.

It’s just a sensation in your body.

That. is. it.

It’s not going to hurt you to experience this feeling.

You are not going to die to experience the feeling.

It’s just there.

You will realize it’s not that bad.

Your brain will calm down.  Your body will relax.  Breathe.

As you continue to process negative emotion you will actually experience less of it.  

As you get good at practicing negative emotion when they arise, you get used to it and you won’t be on auto-pilot to the fridge for food or want a glass of vino to escape it.

Yes, life will still be 50/50 but you will realize the feeling is not harmful.  You will not die.

You will just experience the emotion.  You are human.

You won’t resist it.  You won’t react to it.   You won’t avoid it.

This takes practice.

You might only be able to sit with it for a minute before deciding you want to escape it with food or something else.

However, long it takes, it takes.

Do not judge yourself or ever beat yourself up over “avoiding” it with something to mask the emotion you are feeling (such as eating something you didn’t want to eat, or anything else you do) — that never serves you.

Come from a place of compassion for yourself.

Sometimes the emotion comes along for ride — but as a passenger, not in the drivers seat of your life.

We may still feel it.  It may feel less intense.  Our brain will learn to be okay with it.

We teach our brains we are resilient human beings.

We can do hard things.

You got this my friends.

I’m a certified life and holistic health coach, if you need help with this or know someone that does, don’t let yourself fall through the cracks, set up a free 20 mini-session so you can get the help you need so you can feel better.  Press the contact button for👆🏻a link to my calendar to set your free-mini session.

This is the perfect time to start a morning routine of creating space for yourself, especially if you have never had one before.

Life is always happening for us not to us.  

With COVID-19/Corona virus circulating in our world right now, it has a lot of us feeling uncertain and fearful.

It feels scary.

Our brains are in 5th gear in trying to keep us safe.   

As a human, we crave certainty. 

I want to offer to you that it’s not anything outside of you that is making you feel uncertainty.   

Not even the corona virus.

It’s in fact our thoughts that is creating uncertainty.

Our feelings are ALWAYS created from our thoughts.

A morning routine can help you create more certainty and direct you to an intentional and deliberate life no matter what’s going on outside of you.

What an AMAZING gift you can give yourself, your life and the humans around you.

My morning routine is sacred to me.  

While I’ve always had some sort of morning routine, creating space for myself every morning has been the best gift to myself since having kids. 

It was even more important when I started a business since I had to be my own boss, employee and go getter!

It brings peace.

It brings awareness.

It brings intention vs. reaction. 

If you want certainty, it must start with YOU.

Start your day with what it is YOU want to create vs. what the world might demanding from you. 

Pings, alerts and human voices in your home or the humans on TV?  Stop it!

Creating space and a morning routine for myself keeps me centered in the direction I truly want.  Even in times of what feels like a lot of uncertainty.

Here’s my usual morning routine.  I hope it helps you create one for yourself.

If you have never had one before, you can start small, just do #1 and #2.

Create space for you and your own brain not everyone else’s.

  1. Put your phone on silence before you go to bed.  I set mine to automatically go to bedtime at a certain time.
  1. Wake up early.  Or, at least 1-2 hours prior to when you normally awake to create this special and sacred space for yourself.

Research shows our brains are sharp & creative in the morning regardless if you are a “morning” person. 

  1. Upon waking, do not look at your phone or flip open the news.  

Do not let your inbox, messages, or any social media, or TV upon waking become the director of your day.  You be the director!  

Our brains  natural instinct is to keep you safe so it looks to be startled.  You get and decide to be in charge of what you intend to consume.

  1. Enjoy a full glass of room-temperature lemon water

Benefits:  lots of vitamin c, boosts your metabolism, oxygenates your blood and supports your gut/digestion and metabolism.

  1. You can skip coffee or tea and just enjoy lemon water.  But, when I’m ready to sit, I enjoy a cup of Four Sigmatic Coffee/Chaga Mushroom mix.  I started this a few months ago and I love it.  

I drink it black.  It tastes like coffee.  

Prior to this I was drinking homemade bullet-proof coffee but I had to ditch the dairy and it was an easy switch for me!

It it still helps my brain focus and think better!  Mushrooms are one of the most powerful foods you can eat for your health!  

Mushrooms have been used for thousands of years and are beneficial for disease prevention and/or healing including cancer!

  1. Journal.  I start with Dear God & Universe, 

List, state and visualize 3-5 things you’re grateful for — big or small it doesn’t matter.  

Everyone on this planet has something to be grateful for.  Get creative!

Being grateful immediately puts you out of fear and raises your emotional state.

You can not be grateful and fearful at the same time.

  1. Next, do a complete brain dump and get what is in your brain out on paper so you can have a look at it!  Don’t assume you know what’s in there.  A lot of our thoughts are negative and sub-conscious.

Write it with pen & paper in your journal, not typing.  Research shows a connection in using a pen and paper is much more effective than typing.  

See what your brain is thinking.  

Our thoughts ultimately are creating our life whether we like our life or not.  

It’s a good idea to see what it is you are actually thinking.  

Do not judge yourself and the sentences your brain is thinking. Just write and continue to write until you have nothing left in there.

As you get comfortable with journaling, you might not think you have anything else to write.  You can start asking yourself questions to prompt you.  

When you ask your brain questions, it immediately looks for answers.

Don’t worry about if someone will see it.  And, if you find yourself holding back because of that, just write in on paper and you can throw it away.  If you are new to journaling than it might take some practice to get use to it.  Think of it as a gift not a chore.

  1. Set an intention for the day.  How do you want to show up?  Write it down.  Go after it in every single thing you do!
  1. If you are not a meditator, take a few quiet minutes for breathing so you can get present and create space for yourself.

Here’s two breathing techniques that help reduce anxiety, bring you into the present moment, and promote overall well-being.  

I highly recommend them and you literally can use these techniques any time you are feeling stressed not just in the morning.

Dr Weil’s 4-7-8 breathing technique 

Alternate Nostril Breathing 

  1. Read.  Spend time reading even if for 10-20 minutes.  I love personal development whether it be learning something new in health, business or inspirational so it sets my creativity and intention in full mode.
  1. Okay, so now you are ready to move your body.  You, of course, can exercise first — before journaling.  Do what works for you. 

Movement or exercise gets your blood and lymph moving. 

It immediately moves you out of your current state and into a higher vibration.  Your vibration or emotional state is what drives you to take the actions or inactions in your life.  If you are feeling kind of low, you will not have the drive to take the actions you truly want.  When you are in a raised higher vibrational state, you attract more of that into your life.  It’s the law of attraction working for you not against you.

It immediately helps your brain get clear and focused.  Clarity is power! 

Circulating your blood and stretching your body is key to staying young and vibrant no matter your age.  

Now you are ready to start your day! 

Instead of looking at your phone/news/social media immediately, you have created space – for YOU to create a conscious and deliberate life on your terms not everyone else’s. 

As you practice this daily, you will get even more intentional, aware and direct your life into a routine that is conscious and deliberate to what you do want.  

At the very least, you start to become aware of your thoughts so you can make conscious changes and create the life you do want instead of being at the effect of everything around you. 

If you need help around what’s getting in your way or you just need help to navigate a problem you are experiencing, send me an email.  I offer free mini sessions, so you can walk-away with some tools and get a mini-experience of what coaching can do to help you, today!  

Remember life happens for us, not to us.

I’d love to hear back from you either via email or in the comments, if creating space and a morning routine has changed your life.  

It certainly has mine.

I can honestly say that out of 365 days in the year, I most likely only have skipped this 1-2x throughout the year due to unforeseen circumstances/travels.  

At this time, with COVID-19 as our circumstance it seems like it’s filling our lives with uncertainty and fear, but really it’s our thoughts that create that.  

This is a great practice to start so you can get a hold of the certainty, intention and the deliberate life you crave and want.  It’s still possible with everything happening around you!

Namaste. 

The belief in yourself needs to be stronger than anything else. Nothing outside of you or another person will create the confidence you want to achieve your goals. You must create that belief in yourself to get the result you truly want.

Your belief also needs to be serving you rather than sabotaging you.

We all have limiting beliefs that hold us back.

This week I celebrate 17 years as a personal chef and began a new chapter in my life.  I officially opened my business on my birthday.  It was an exciting gift to myself. The path getting here was anything but linear.

I had to believe in myself more than anyone else to get through the hard stuff.  

Back then, the internet was fairly new so it was a completely different ball game in business.  There was no pretty pictures of instagram for clients to see or FB for that matter. 

And, personal cheffing was pretty much new back then and was not at all in the mainstream of businesses nor in my clients mind-eye either.

I know the belief I had in myself and my dream played the biggest part in making a living out of something I loved.

As we begin this year and new decade, I have even bigger and new challenging goals for business as well as in my health and relationships.

If I’m being honest, I had a number of these same goals the last several years.

There are other people that don’t truly believe I will ever achieve it — and that’s okay.

Your confidence must come from you not anyone outside of you.  

There will be plenty of nay-sayers. You can NOT listen to them.

There’s also the “nay-sayer” of your own mind aka your primitive brain.

If you rely on others or looking towards anything outside of you to build your confidence, you will always fall flat.  

Self-confidence comes from yourself not anyone else.

And — it can be learned — great news, right?!? — especially if you don’t identify with being confident.

It comes from building integrity with yourself to do the things you said you were going to do. Especially when you don’t want to or it seems “hard” and “doubt and fear” are rearing their ugly head.

It takes practice over and over again.

Big goals bring up a lot doubt and fear.

Our primitive brain will want to keep us safe — which means keep you status quo.

It does not want you to grow especially if there is discomfort in the process.

It could care less about any goal you have in the future – whether it be your weight, business, money, relationships or whatever it is you want to achieve.

There is a difference between dreaming and achieving what it is you truly desire.

Dreams will always be dreams until you start actually taking action — big goals may require some stuff that you may not want to do but have to in order to create the result you want.

It will create discomfort.

A lot of my clients I work with have a specific weight goal and have been on the diet yo-yo for most of their lives — losing 20, gaining 10 more, losing 40 lbs and then gaining 5 more, etc.  

When they reach mid-life, it seems like it’s a dream that will never be reached with some new challenges that come along for the ride as we get older.

We literally can dream our entire life away but unless you act on it they remain as our “wishes”.  

Did you ever hear yourself say “I wish”?

I know I have.

I wish this, I should this, I want this.

You actually create more of the same — no change.  no dream coming true.  no wish being granted.  

We just create more of the same.

We have to be on the look out for what our primitive brain offers us in our thoughts. 

We tend to think they are true as if it’s never going to happen — and it won’t if you keep thinking that.

We also make it mean different things about yourselves when we are constantly recreating and doing the same thing — the things we make it mean is when we start to sabotage ourself.

Did you ever hear someone say “same thing, different day” when you ask them how they are.

Yes, it will be the same if you keep believing it.

If you do some investigating some thoughts do not serve us AT ALL — as a matter of fact they may be creating the very results we don’t want.

Our thoughts are just opinions.  Yet, we see them as truth.

As soon as your feet hit the floor, your brain is laser focused to prove those thoughts true in the most efficient way possible.

Hello brownie — glass of wine — social media or whatever your favorite flavor of avoiding is on a stressful day!

Our results are always a reflection of our thoughts.

We have a lot of thoughts rolling around in our heads that seem so innocent but are sabotaging us unconsciously.

Those thoughts could be from childhood that we have been conditioning and maybe even fine tuning as if they are really true.

We have stories about our life and what has been.

We need to change the story about our life and about ourselves in order to create a different result.

In order to create a new result especially one that is challenging and something you’ve never done before, you have to think differently.

We become what we believe.

The thoughts you think over and over again — become your beliefs.  Even if they aren’t true.

It means being committed more than just being interested in achieving it.

Our belief in ourself needs to be 100% — no matter what.

There will be people in your life (even those you may love – like friends and family) that may not believe you are going to create the result you want.

There intentions may seem good and offer to be “realistic”.

What does realistic even mean? It means what you want it to be.

“If you can envision it in your head, you can have it in your hand.”

~ Bob Proctor

And, if you believe it to be – it could be as realistic as what you want.  

Realistic is a perception.

Just because you haven’t obtained it. Just because it’s seems like a far stretch — does NOT mean anything.

These comments could trigger doubt that may be lingering around in your brain.  

When you doubt, you most likely don’t behave the way you’d want.

You must ignore them.  

You must believe in yourself.  

You must have the courage to do it no matter what.

You must be willing to feel all the discomfort that comes up and do it anyway.

It doesn’t matter what your goal is in order to create a new result your belief needs to be in line with your goals to produce the result you truly want.

Often when I’m coaching my clients, they are surprised when they discover what the thoughts they think actually are. 

You need to uncover your current beliefs, so you can see what they are and the results they are currently producing.

Everything you have created in your life is based on your past.

If you want a different result, you need to generate different emotions to start behaving a different way.

Our emotions are created from our thoughts.

If you want help around this and are struggling to do the things you know you want to do but aren’t doing them — you can make this year, the year that you made a real change to truly get the result you want and one that is sustainable.  

Contact me to set up a free mini-session where we will discuss where you are, where you want to be and obstacles that are getting in your way.  Walk away with strategies to help you get there – today!

What result do you want in your life that you currently aren’t getting? Tell me in the comments 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻 I’d love to hear them!

1.  Eat mindfully

Put the phones down, computers away.  Really be present with your food, the textures, smells and the visual plate that is in front of you.  Be grateful for your food.

2.  Eat a varied whole foods diet

Eliminate junk and processed food.  Eat a diet that whole food based.

3.  Don’t eat based on how you feel

Many times we are eating because we are bored, lonely, frustrated, angry, anxious, fearful, etc.  Try your best to move through your emotion without relying on food for comfort. Go for walk, exercise or journal and try drinking water first despite you may not feel like it – or face head on and deal with what you are avoiding.

4.  Don’t replace sleep with caffeine

This will become a vicious cycle and the only way to avoid it is not drinking caffeine when you feel tired especially after 12 pm.

5.  Reduce stress

Meditate.  Breathe. Journal.  These are all good ways to release stress

6.  Eliminate sugar

The best way to control sugar cravings is cold turkey for a minimum of 2 weeks.  After 2 weeks you will notice sugar does not control you

7.  Drink at least 6-8 glasses of water a day

Drinking as much water as you can will help release toxins, hydrate and help you eat more than you desire

8.  Incorporate self-care in your daily or weekly regimen

Doing something just for you, whether that means getting your nails down, facial, just spending some time alone possibly reading a new book, journaling, or even organizing things you have been avoiding

9.  Reduce and limit alcohol to 0-1x a week (limit to 1 drink)

Despite people thinking drinking a glass of wine a day may be good for you.  No amount of alcohol is good for your health. Drink in moderation or leave it for a special occasion.

10.  Exercise 3x a week for at least 20 minutes

Any movement you do outside of your regular daily day will enhance your health for the better.  Start today by simply fast walking.

11.  Eliminate toxins in your cleaning and skin care routine

There are so many natural products on the market there is no excuse not to change up your cleaning and skin care routine.  This includes everything you put in and on your body as well as in your house. These toxins build up in your body over time and cause stagnation in your lymph and blood circulatory system.  Organs have to work much harder to release them out of your body causing stress.

12.  Eat one extra vegetable a day

Eating extra veggies everyday will always be a good idea.

What’s one new habit you are going to try this week?  Let me know in the comments!!!