holistic health – mind. body. soul.

Is overcomplicating things holding you back from taking action?

Have you ever thought why you are overcomplicating the crap out of things?

 

Often this happens when we are about to change.

 

When we want to go after a goal we have never achieved before, overcomplicating comes to rear its ugly head causing struggle and unwanted stress.

 

Right now you believe that it’s complicated, I get it.

 

Maybe it is. But here me out. 


Possibly when you sit down to learn something new and you just aren’t grasping the concept, trying to figure it out, and the struggle is real, you are changing your mind a gazillion times, trying to get clear, 

  • Trying to get it right and perfect even 
  • Constantly getting up and doing other things 
  • Can’t focus and wind up taking a break on checking SM, then you wind up losing an hour 
  • Do something else because now you are backlogged on things around the house even


But when it comes back time to sit down to figure it out, you are struggling all over again, feeling it’s complicate and anxious and it’s keeping you stuck.


Blank, back to ground zero and possibly going back to your old way of doing things, except you aren’t progressing to getting where you want in your business or your goals.


Well there is nothing wrong with you or your life or even your business – you might just be trying to solve the wrong problem.

You might think if only “I knew this, I could move on” but yet all the researching, you still don’t figure it out, you wind up stuck in indecision, overwhelm & anxiety. 


There are usually one of two reasons this might happen:

  1. You are trying to solve the wrong problem.  You might have thoughts like “I have no idea what Im doing”, “this is too hard”, “if only I knew the answer” Your brain will want to solve this problem first except it says in an endless loop since it’s believing this to be true creating results that you don’t even want. 
  2. Overcomplicating could be the very mechanism that your body uses to save you from emotional pain of the future — and there is actually no emotional pain in the future, but your body remembers the stress from your past in your body and doesn’t even care about your goals, it will not want to go there ever again. Say good bye to getting what you want, if you don’t truly know what’s happening or even realize you might be avoiding negative emotion. 

Your thoughts create your reality.

 

Your brains only job is to prove the thoughts it already believes about you, even if that’s not what you want, what?  Yea, and all set and on autopilot from your 8 year old self.

 

That doesn’t really help you in creating what you want in the future that is different from your past!

 

When you are acting from your default brains thoughts of your past of what it already believes about you, you continue to create the same results.

 

If you want to achieve your goals in the second half of life and you find yourself overcomplicating things in your business or life, you might be working from mindset of your past or a defense mechanism from your body all holding you back from creating what you desire in your life. You can change that around when you start getting to the root issues instead of struggling to create what you want in your life, especially for the second half — when everything you want is new!   If this resonates with you, lets chat.

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Following through is an Art, not a Discipline

While you think you might need to work harder,  have some forced discipline by beating yourself up, some magic wand of inspired focus so you can take action and be persistent — these often lead to feeling depleted, burn out with your adrenals tanked & cortisol high & chronically stressed internally and leads to giving up. 

Start believing  you are the person you desire to be NOW, not WHEN

—> the successful 100k entrepreneur

—> the 30lb lighter person,

—> the financial fit person, 

—> the established leader, 

 

🏆 the person that actually follows through on her goals🏆

AND, it doesn’t matter your goal 


Your follow-through is completely different along the journey 


when you are her NOW.


You’ll put to rest of the constant start, stop, start over every single day,  week or year with the same damn goals. 


You’ll gain clarity from your actions, learn from your mistakes, start working on the right problems to solve.


Instead of constant doubting yourself, learning more but still not implementing fully, feeling insecure, confused & overwhelmed in the process so you wind up changing your mind a gazillion times 


afraid to be wrong or not being good enough with a tendency to strive for perfection as a way to fill that never ending sense of inadequacy — 


You’ll be spinning at the door of success and might even be in the Cycle of Resistance.


And, if you are in that stage you’ll feel a lot of anxiety trying to overcome those strong emotions but you’ll be stuck because the resistance will win because your body just is trying to survive.


You’ll work on things that have temporary fixes for your self-esteem issues 


When you give yourself permission to step into her now, not when, you’ll gain solid self-belief, free from the influence of past experiences & you’ll let go of the unquenchable thirst from your ego and void you feel. 


Believing is a decision you make. 


You start there.


Goals are for measurement only. 


Only we’re are taught you have to wait and earn that title before you BE it.  


And, it’s actually the opposite.  You must be that person now, all the way through. 


Because that is how you get there.  


So who are you BEING? What’s fueling you?


If you want to fuel yourself with with determination, courage and resilience instead of indecision, regret and a bunch of “shoulds”


BE her NOW, not withholding that identity until you get there. 


The 100k Successful Business Owner —  who didn’t beat herself up all the way through


The 150 lb Woman — who loves herself when she was 180


The Financial Fit Person — who didn’t make debt or their bank account mean anything about themselves


The Established Leader — who didn’t wait till she felt confident enough to be & do


Don’t wait to give yourself permission for your “earned” identity. 


Give yourself permission today.


Goals are often taught that you must earn it in order to be it. 


When I make $100k, I’ll finally be successful, when I lose 30 lbs, I’ll finally love myself/body.


Stop!


If you want to hit your goals, you have to change the way you think about yourself, now, not when:


When you make decisions from “being that person now” you’ll actually find yourself making different decisions.


You won’t be beating yourself up along the way and constantly proving yourself right.  That’s how our brains work. 


Instead: 

  1. Decide what you want to think about yourself. 
  2. Think on purpose now, not when. 
  3. Make your decisions from your future self.
  4. Find yourself following through, hitting your goal, being and doing because you are her NOW, not when


Let’s let go of all the drama your brain likes to drum up and you not giving yourself permission until you accomplish whatever it is you want to accomplish.  The journey getting there is so much different. 

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Your Brain is a Sifter.

Your brain is like a sifter.

 

Your brain sifts through all the information in a nano second.


What’s good, what’s relevant, what’s not.


But there is one caveat to that.

 

It’s based on 3 things, your:

  1. Self-Concept:  Your filtered perception of who you think you are set by age 8. 
  2. Emotional capacity: Ability to feel all kinds of emotion. Let’s face it, as a child you were likely handed something to help you feel better vs. feel bad when something goes wrong. As an adult, you’ll easily look for this same way only it looks different than being handed a chance to go to the park when Patty flat-left you, or the school trip was canceled.  It was replaced with feeling happy right away, not pausing to allow you or know how to feel negative emotion — still with you when you are sitting down to do that tough project, for your business or work out a plan & gain clarity desired but has you overthinking more instead of taking action to find out — you’ll easily  avoid, escape, resist them as an adult.
  3. Self-Awareness level: When you don’t know how to see or manage mindset, and be able to pluck it out and see it with curiosity not judgment and your inner critic getting in the way or even to know if it’s serving you, often keeping you at arms length of where you wish to be.


Your brain looks through this lens of your preconceived self-concept based upon past and then tack on the lack of emotional capacity, your own limited awareness level to decipher what’s true, what’s not, 

 

All through approximately 75,000 thoughts you are having per day.

 

Whew, it’s trying it’s best to be efficient as possible, avoid pain and danger and seeking safety at the same time and getting the needed dopamine it thinks its needed to survive. 

 

Only guess what, you and I don’t live in cave man days. 


Your primitive part of your  brain has not evolved to where you are now.  This is the subconscious part of your brain on repeat automatically drives your behavior — where your beliefs are set even if you didn’t choose them purposely. 

 

Technology, SM, your life, the housing, the buildings, the cars, the food, and everything in it is growing and evolving exponentially everyday — only your brain is filtering through this preset lens of who you think you are set 40 years ago based upon your parents preconceived beliefs and so on and so on. 

 

It’s not evolving as fast and still has this set safety mechanism to guide you from literally dying — often just repeating generational messes from your parents, grandparents, and anything you picked up along the way. 

 

It learns through repetition and think and believe something enough, you take it on as a belief about yourself, that maybe you don’t feel good enough, matter or whatever — limiting your life today.


You’ll have a hard time following through to reach any goal especially in your second half and you are going after new things, new ambitions, maybe a new business or idea you had.


You’ll have to have the emotional capacity to feel negative emotion much bigger than your preset thermometer set at a low disappointment level when things get heavy in worrying about what someone thinks or if something is right or wrong. 


Your brain’s goal is safety and did I tell you it like to be right.  It doesn’t like change which is hard when you have something have new ideas that needs to be flushed out, that feels uncomfortable in your body. 

 

Here’s what often happens when we have big goals especially as women in the second half:

 

  • You’re following all the rules/habits learned as women passed down from passed generations and society norms —> you’ve left yourself last on the list for years doing for everyone else, people pleasing everyone else instead of yourself. 

 

  • You’re using things outside yourself to feel better (unknowingly), cleaning, chores, shopping, cocktails, IG perusing, latest Netflix series, or that big crazy world stressful crap happening going on at any given time — lets face it, bad things happen all the time but maybe it has you getting side tracked and doing nothing because it feels like whats the point when all this negative stuff is going on and I feel stupid pursuing this goal when there is much bigger things your brain thinks it should be worrying about, the list goes on – starting over every week because you are not following through. 

 

  • You know what you want, but can’t seem to get yourself to do it so you wind up stopping by Wednesday or working on things that aren’t even that important to creating the result you desire in your business.  You keep trying to make it perfect, don’t want to be wrong, not feeling good enough as such & such, thinking someone else has better answers or the answer so you start working on something else. Confused yet?


This happens more often if you’ve had a challenging childhood or some stressful events in your life that your body, although it’s a completely different situation, it doesn’t recognize the difference — this is where mind and body and body and mind are connected. The body remembers that stressful feeling and now when it shows up, it likes to escape and avoid instead of feel it or look at it with curiosity, not letting it get in the way.


Now that you’ve had a science lesson, here’s truly what needs to change, if you want to start creating results you desire in your life especially taking action in your business or any area.


So before you start digging into changing direction, a new project, a new course, a new program — your brain finds comfort in doing those. Notice if you ever get to the hard part you abort mission!


I don’t want you to continue getting bamboozled by your own brain, it’s your friend not your foe but it’s based on old programming — making money, losing weight or some life change you desire to make in your life, needs a reset.

 

There are 3 caveats to help permanently change this around:

  1. Changing your beliefs about yourself. Rewiring your brain and resetting it to what you want to believe about yourself and your life based upon your future self not your past.
  2. Learn how to allow negative emotions to be in your body, instead of trying to not feel them or reacting to them, escaping and avoiding them all the time possibly without much awareness you are, not getting very far in your goals. 
  3. Raise your awareness to what the hec your mind is actually believing as true so you know what’s driving your behavior as you can’t change what you aren’t aware of.   


So when you find yourself stuck in doubt, overwhelm and confusion you can move through it, it doesn’t have to drive your behavior anymore keeping you stuck.  These indulgent emotions keep you spinning at the door to success more times that you want and when you know what to do when they come, you’ll have tools and concepts to move through them. 


It’s a game changer and sustainable.  Real change. 

 

No more using food for comfort and gaining weight in the meantime when you can’t sit to figure your project out in your business no matter how you are feeling. 

 

No more going on FB when things feel overwhelming and confusing in your business or that great idea, and next thing you know Sally’s dog passed away and now you’re on Amazon looking for something to cheer her up (not saying to ignore your friend Sally, but this what our brains attach to — safety, pleasure and wants it now)


You can not change what you aren’t aware of is the cause of your problem or symptom.  

 

Raising your awareness so you can see what’s in the way because most of us can not see what is rolling around in our minds at any given time.  We have 75,000 thoughts a day!  


They are creating your personal reality in your life.

 

Your brain is the most powerful tool you have to change your life.

 

It’s possible to have everything you desire when you start to change your beliefs about yourself, increase your emotional capacity to feel and raising your awareness to your own thoughts and mindset.

 

You may think you know, but if you did you’d already achieved what you desired.

 

This is why the process I use helps really helps clients make sustainable change — we reset and rewire your brain.  We learn the process of feeling your emotions vs. escaping them when they arrive in your body or you feel triggered by what someone says or does.  And, you’ll learn what thoughts you are having that are causing a particular result — I promise we think we know but you’re human and you’ll believe your stories as true.

 

This is where  taking action becomes second nature, not a struggle having the same goals every week, month & year trying to make money in your business but can’t even seem to take action since you are always indulging in confusion and doubt and not feeling good enough.


Especially for us multipassionate women — having many talents might have you not choosing one.  Going all in a specific idea and you are trying to cover all the bases.  It’s like double-edged sword, you’ll constantly look to finding clarity & certainty you crave before you actually start but instead of taking action to find it, it keeps you stuck and sometimes trying to solve the  wrong problem.

 

You have everything inside you right now and I can help show you the way.

 

If you want to be successful in your business, health or life and start following through on your goals and ideas instead of constantly avoiding, let’s chat.  I can help you!


Please leave a comment on what you find difficult to follow through on in your life or business?

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Embrace Imperfection: The Path to Reducing Anxiety

When you stop perfecting, constantly doubting & changing your mind,

you’ll lower your anxiety.

But how do you do that when you keep finding yourself in doing it?

It’s a decision you make in your mind.

Perfectionism is not a trait that really serves you.

It holds you back, from finishing or accomplishing at least in a timely manner and sometimes ever.

It keeps you spinning.

It confuses you.

It will play tricks in your head to try to make it better.

It just keeps you stuck — unnecessarily.

You can decide there is no such thing as perfect and 80% or even 70% is good enough.

To your brain, it feels like it’s going to die

— literally it would rather keep you in indecision, doubt and confusion than making some decisions and see what happens.

so it keeps you doubting, perfecting

which ironically actually feels more comfortable in your body (even though you might not think anxiety feels great ha, ha)

But it’s actually saving you from feeling:  embarrassment and shame!

There is a fine line between the resistance you feel and perfectionism.

They both feel pressure and heavy but they keep you away from what you desire. 

You won’t recognize the resistance if you are new to this work,

you’ll keep believing your brain when it tells you it’s not good enough, that you’re not good enough — and it’s likely subconsciously hiding under your radar, even if consciously you are telling yourself you are good enough.  

The resistance you feel will pull you away and have you doing something else so be careful. 

You might even think you have a focus & procrastination problem.

When you recognize it, you can change it.

And, you don’t even need to go down a complete rabbit hole of your past — I’m going to save you time right now.

When you tend to be a perfectionist…

  • you might be afraid of what others think, even if you tell yourself that’s not the case.
  • you think you have to have it perfect, it’s the only way.
  • you will convince yourself, it’s not ready, it could be better.
  • you love the outside recognition it gives you when you are finally ready to put it out there, you’ll use it to feel good about yourself.
  • you can’t wait to finish so you can finally feel proud of yourself after it’s completed — one for the books, for the accomplishment even if it took you years (or 10 more hours than it actually should of) — no shame either way ;).

Your brain actually can finish things when you give it a specific time to do it in. 

The result you want.

So next time you find yourself in a pickle of trying to do something perfectly,

and you are procastinating, doubting or just getting anxious when it doesn’t feel perfect

try this:

before you even start, give yourself a specific amount of time to do it in. 

Your brain will figure it out.

If you are good at it (no pun intended) you’ll know exactly how much time you’ll need ahead of time.

You might fail the first few times at the allotted time but I promise you, you’ll get better at estimating without allowing the crazy pressure you put on yourself to perfect it. You brain will now know what to expect from you to.  

It decreases decision fatigue because you decided ahead of time instead of giving yourself 2 weeks for a project when it really required 2-4 hours. 

Stop believing your brain when it tells you it’s not good enough or your not good enough, don’t let it derail you, constrain your focus, decide the time and go all in on creating the result you want in that time frame.  It works. 

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Let’s talk about making conscious decisions.

 

Are you making them?


There is no wrong or right decisions.


The more conscious ones you make the better your life will be. 


So let me ask you this…


Do you know where you are going? 


—> 1 year, 5 years, 10 or 25 years from now?


If you can’t answer that question you can easily fall in the trap of landing somewhere you don’t even know or like. 


The truth is you are deciding in each moment where life is taking you. 


If you don’t change things, nothing will change from within your own power.

If you don’t recommit to the current life you have, you will live a life of default 


that won’t be nearly as powerful as it ever could be.


       🙋🏼‍♀️ Who do you want to be? 


       ✈️ Where do you want to go?


       🌟 What do you want to do?


Your brain listens to what you say


There are triggers that get your attention — habitual brain 


Rediscover who you are.


Your doubts get in the way of what you truly want.  


What you focus on grows.  


If you are focusing on the doubts they tend to take precedence and that is what you manifest.


You are deciding that.  


You have the option to change direction at any time, no matter how old or young you are with conscious decisions.


One of the main problems we have is making unconscious decisions, unwanted automatic decisions.  They are repeated decisions that happen almost against your own will.


Some are good and serve us and some not so much.  


Review your decisions consciously to ensure they are decisions you want to be making. 


Think of a result you get every day.  


Is it the result you like?


Maybe you end up feeling chronically stressed and tired because you aren’t creating the business you’d like or imagined but rather a lot of busywork instead


and you just want to unease the stress by having a glass of wine, watch tv or peruse SM to veg out and not think about anything at the end of the day.   And, you do this everyday but keep flipping the calendar over to Monday what the same goals.


Maybe you’ve done this for so long, you might not even see it as a conscious decision anymore, it’s just who you are, and how your life is unfolding…


Someone that has to much too do with so many things on your plate that you you don’t even know what to do to create the business you once imagined, the money, the clients and “having it all”.  It gets overwhelming and then there is the other hats of your life too — all of them that you wear.


But when you step back and realize that just because you aren’t really conscious when you make that decision doesn’t make it less powerful.  


The decision to do “busywork — whatever seems important in the moment” is a very powerful decision — it’s one you want to make consciously and ahead of time.  It will change the trajectory of your results. 


So, who is this extraordinary woman inside you?  


What decisions would she like to make on purpose…consciously, in order to create the result you desire?


Start to take a look at those automated decisions vs. using your own power to make them consciously. 

 

p.s. When you are ready and want to learn how to flip your decision making from unconscious to conscious ones.  And, start creating the results you desire in your business or life, set up a free discovery call so you can see exactly the cause of the real issue.  It just may blow your mind.

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Elevate your Mind to Find the Real Problem

Something to ponder.

 

When you elevate your mind, your entire life changes — all of it.

 

You can’t un-know what you know. 

 

Every decision after it’s kinda wild.

 

You have a lot more certainty (because it will no longer matter so much if you make mistakes) 

 

which ironically that is exactly what your brain desires before it actually makes a decision — it wants certainty and damn, it want’s a lot of it before.

 

but when you don’t have that awareness 

 

You’ll start trying to solve the wrong problem.

 

you’ll keep yourself in indecision far too long that you’ll find yourself in confusion, overwhelm and doubt. 

 

The human mind wants the easy way.  

 

It’s how it was designed.  

 

In the time-frame of not really getting to the root cause of your problem which if you allow it 

 

— it could be years, often same goals every week, month, year!  

 

Whether it’s your health or your life…

 

Slow progress because in that time frame of actually healing you’ll find yourself in 

 

quick fixes, surface level change, magic pills, band-aid approaches, one off solutions we often think it will remedy the problem, 

 

even if it’s “natural approaches” which I hear all the time from so many people often asking me what can I do for this or that.  

 

What should I eat?  What do you think, will help this?  

 

I found this on Amazon and has great reviews for this symptom. 

 

Now, I got this other problem…what can I do for this?  

 

They have symptom after symptom pop up.

 

And that’s why you’ll be at arms length from actual healing. 

 

Because we rather google for answers which often has the magic ticket of easy but doesn’t lead to really solving the real problem. 

 

Life keeps repeating itself because sometimes the pain isn’t enough to change at the moment.  

 

That’s okay, don’t beat yourself up for things you just don’t understand or know yet.

 

But in the meantime…

 

Your mind will like to play mind games with you. 

 

Keeping things just how they have been but not really better. 

 

Your human mind doesn’t like change even if the result is one you wish you had. 

 

It’s conditioned to keep your decisions the same — the same neural pathways are ingrained and has been “conditioned” since you’re about 8 yrs old. 

 

And, you just want “so and so” to stop acting the way they are so you can have peace. 

 

And, if you learned to cope …which nobody knows at 8 years old really knows how to cope, 

 

so often you learn unhealthy coping mechanisms by yourself to keep yourself safe unknowingly it’s conditioned now and on autopilot. 

 

You’ll often take on meaning about yourself, your life and it’s on autopilot.  

 

It’s still playing out in your adult life,

 

in your relationships, in your business, in your finances, in your daily everyday life,

 

how and what you eat, what you believe to be true…even if it’s not true and so on. 

 

You’ll often be reactive to everything around you.  

 

Trying to control your symptoms, your life and everything outside you is exhausting.  

 

It’s stressful on your body.

 

So when you finally start on the healing journey you will find yourself facing a lot of resistance, indecision, doubt and even confusion.

 

It feels uncomfortable often in the body but it may go even unnoticed because your body is used to protecting itself automatically you aren’t even aware it’s happening in the moment. 

 

It happens in a nanosecond.  

 

You may find yourself just moving to something else in the moment.   

 

Whether that is cleaning, shopping, scrolling SM, or whatever your favorite flavor or comfort is.  

 

A cocktail after a stressful day.  That yummy cheesy dip you can’t seem to keep your hands out of when you said just one. 

 

Other times, you’ll experience anxiety and your body doesn’t even know what to do with it other than it doesn’t want to feel negative emotion so you kinda freak out.  

 

It grows rather than subsides.  

 

Every time it appears you think that something wrong. 

 

Stress is the leading cause of dis-ease.

 

Gut issues, autoimmune issues, thyroid issues, joint and muscle issues and internal inflammation, even cancer.

 

Not everything can be healed by just changing your diet.  

 

Food matters tremendously and the quality of it 100% but when you keep trying.

 

Your entire tapestry of your life is affected by your mind first — decisions.  

 

Your body and mind are connected ~ even with the food you are eating. 

 

The quality and type of food affects the stress in your body at a cellular level. 

 

Your organs are more healthier when your emotional health is in check because you aren’t holding onto old stress.

 

When you are constantly stressed even at a low level that you think is keeping you functional, you continually have more symptoms pop up.

 

Look to heal the whole body from the inside out.

 

It starts in your mind.

 

Your thoughts are creating your life experience at any given time.

 

When you actually know what thoughts are creating what results, you actually change your entire life – for the better.

 

Because your brain likes the same — it will keep you in that GAP instead of where you want to be. 

 

When you elevate your mind, when you learn to have the emotional capacity of all human emotions, not just the happy ones and start to dig into the thoughts you have about yourself that are leading you to behave a particular way, your entire life will shift. 

 

you might realize that you are much more capable to have the life you actually desire a lot easier than trying to look for the easier way.

 

Raise your awareness to solving the real problem and change your life. 

 

Hey, if you feel compelled to get help but not sure where to even begin, I got you.  I’ll coach you through my unique framework, which brings you from uncertainty to clarity and help you get to the real issue of your problem.  Click here to schedule your FREE discovery call.

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Stop playing small!

Read more
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Are You Following Through?

Read more
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Are you Committed or Interested?

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Your Brain Can be Your Friend or Foe.

The primitive part of your brain is constantly seeking pleasure & same time its constantly looking out for danger.

That’s a problem today because the primitive brain hasn’t evolved passed the cave days.  It’s still functions the same based on survival.

It’s both friend & foe — when its a habit you want to change, a goal or whatever change. 

Change has your brains alarm bells go off like wild fire — ding, ding, ding!!!  Oh, no!

It has you overeating, overdrinking, over FB’n, IG’n, TikTok’n, napping, TV’n, comparing every which way a ping or notification is grabbing your attention —> escaping.  

Escaping the truth of life. 

We chase happy through outside things, diets, achievements, goals, relationships, money, etc.  We’re always seeking happy.

And, yes it’s amazing achieving anything!  

But it truly takes courage to be happy from the inside.  

Many want to change their lives, but at the same time, they don’t want to step out of their comfort zones to make any real changes happen.  

They rather other people, the world to change around them & try the darnedest to manipulate this false people pleasing behavior.

Instead of making bold decisions that requires courage!

But no matter how successful you are – you can’t escape your humaneness.  

You can’t escape the negative part of life.  We try all the time chasing happy  in false pleasures and things — while it really just takes courage to truly be happy.

There nothing wrong doing anything you want & enjoy — except if it the reason you do it is to escape the truth of life. It has a net negative compound affect on your life. 

It takes courage to be happy.  

Because that may mean you might have to say no to someone, food or drink, etc.

You may have to stop people pleasing the people  — stop putting everyone above your own life & happiness.  

You may think people pleasing is good — because you get something from it, it makes you feel good.  But it’s a lie.

It truly takes courage to be happy!  

How can you be more courageous?  If you need help, book your FREE call today.

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