Your brain is like a sifter.
Your brain sifts through all the information in a nano second.
What’s good, what’s relevant, what’s not.
But there is one caveat to that.
It’s based on 3 things, your:
- Self-Concept: Your filtered perception of who you think you are set by age 8.
- Emotional capacity: Ability to feel all kinds of emotion. Let’s face it, as a child you were likely handed something to help you feel better vs. feel bad when something goes wrong. As an adult, you’ll easily look for this same way only it looks different than being handed a chance to go to the park when Patty flat-left you, or the school trip was canceled. It was replaced with feeling happy right away, not pausing to allow you or know how to feel negative emotion — still with you when you are sitting down to do that tough project, for your business or work out a plan & gain clarity desired but has you overthinking more instead of taking action to find out — you’ll easily avoid, escape, resist them as an adult.
- Self-Awareness level: When you don’t know how to see or manage mindset, and be able to pluck it out and see it with curiosity not judgment and your inner critic getting in the way or even to know if it’s serving you, often keeping you at arms length of where you wish to be.
Your brain looks through this lens of your preconceived self-concept based upon past and then tack on the lack of emotional capacity, your own limited awareness level to decipher what’s true, what’s not,
All through approximately 75,000 thoughts you are having per day.
Whew, it’s trying it’s best to be efficient as possible, avoid pain and danger and seeking safety at the same time and getting the needed dopamine it thinks its needed to survive.
Only guess what, you and I don’t live in cave man days.
Your primitive part of your brain has not evolved to where you are now. This is the subconscious part of your brain on repeat automatically drives your behavior — where your beliefs are set even if you didn’t choose them purposely.
Technology, SM, your life, the housing, the buildings, the cars, the food, and everything in it is growing and evolving exponentially everyday — only your brain is filtering through this preset lens of who you think you are set 40 years ago based upon your parents preconceived beliefs and so on and so on.
It’s not evolving as fast and still has this set safety mechanism to guide you from literally dying — often just repeating generational messes from your parents, grandparents, and anything you picked up along the way.
It learns through repetition and think and believe something enough, you take it on as a belief about yourself, that maybe you don’t feel good enough, matter or whatever — limiting your life today.
You’ll have a hard time following through to reach any goal especially in your second half and you are going after new things, new ambitions, maybe a new business or idea you had.
You’ll have to have the emotional capacity to feel negative emotion much bigger than your preset thermometer set at a low disappointment level when things get heavy in worrying about what someone thinks or if something is right or wrong.
Your brain’s goal is safety and did I tell you it like to be right. It doesn’t like change which is hard when you have something have new ideas that needs to be flushed out, that feels uncomfortable in your body.
Here’s what often happens when we have big goals especially as women in the second half:
- You’re following all the rules/habits learned as women passed down from passed generations and society norms —> you’ve left yourself last on the list for years doing for everyone else, people pleasing everyone else instead of yourself.
- You’re using things outside yourself to feel better (unknowingly), cleaning, chores, shopping, cocktails, IG perusing, latest Netflix series, or that big crazy world stressful crap happening going on at any given time — lets face it, bad things happen all the time but maybe it has you getting side tracked and doing nothing because it feels like whats the point when all this negative stuff is going on and I feel stupid pursuing this goal when there is much bigger things your brain thinks it should be worrying about, the list goes on – starting over every week because you are not following through.
- You know what you want, but can’t seem to get yourself to do it so you wind up stopping by Wednesday or working on things that aren’t even that important to creating the result you desire in your business. You keep trying to make it perfect, don’t want to be wrong, not feeling good enough as such & such, thinking someone else has better answers or the answer so you start working on something else. Confused yet?
This happens more often if you’ve had a challenging childhood or some stressful events in your life that your body, although it’s a completely different situation, it doesn’t recognize the difference — this is where mind and body and body and mind are connected. The body remembers that stressful feeling and now when it shows up, it likes to escape and avoid instead of feel it or look at it with curiosity, not letting it get in the way.
Now that you’ve had a science lesson, here’s truly what needs to change, if you want to start creating results you desire in your life especially taking action in your business or any area.
So before you start digging into changing direction, a new project, a new course, a new program — your brain finds comfort in doing those. Notice if you ever get to the hard part you abort mission!
I don’t want you to continue getting bamboozled by your own brain, it’s your friend not your foe but it’s based on old programming — making money, losing weight or some life change you desire to make in your life, needs a reset.
There are 3 caveats to help permanently change this around:
- Changing your beliefs about yourself. Rewiring your brain and resetting it to what you want to believe about yourself and your life based upon your future self not your past.
- Learn how to allow negative emotions to be in your body, instead of trying to not feel them or reacting to them, escaping and avoiding them all the time possibly without much awareness you are, not getting very far in your goals.
- Raise your awareness to what the hec your mind is actually believing as true so you know what’s driving your behavior as you can’t change what you aren’t aware of.
So when you find yourself stuck in doubt, overwhelm and confusion you can move through it, it doesn’t have to drive your behavior anymore keeping you stuck. These indulgent emotions keep you spinning at the door to success more times that you want and when you know what to do when they come, you’ll have tools and concepts to move through them.
It’s a game changer and sustainable. Real change.
No more using food for comfort and gaining weight in the meantime when you can’t sit to figure your project out in your business no matter how you are feeling.
No more going on FB when things feel overwhelming and confusing in your business or that great idea, and next thing you know Sally’s dog passed away and now you’re on Amazon looking for something to cheer her up (not saying to ignore your friend Sally, but this what our brains attach to — safety, pleasure and wants it now)
You can not change what you aren’t aware of is the cause of your problem or symptom.
Raising your awareness so you can see what’s in the way because most of us can not see what is rolling around in our minds at any given time. We have 75,000 thoughts a day!
They are creating your personal reality in your life.
Your brain is the most powerful tool you have to change your life.
It’s possible to have everything you desire when you start to change your beliefs about yourself, increase your emotional capacity to feel and raising your awareness to your own thoughts and mindset.
You may think you know, but if you did you’d already achieved what you desired.
This is why the process I use helps really helps clients make sustainable change — we reset and rewire your brain. We learn the process of feeling your emotions vs. escaping them when they arrive in your body or you feel triggered by what someone says or does. And, you’ll learn what thoughts you are having that are causing a particular result — I promise we think we know but you’re human and you’ll believe your stories as true.
This is where taking action becomes second nature, not a struggle having the same goals every week, month & year trying to make money in your business but can’t even seem to take action since you are always indulging in confusion and doubt and not feeling good enough.
Especially for us multipassionate women — having many talents might have you not choosing one. Going all in a specific idea and you are trying to cover all the bases. It’s like double-edged sword, you’ll constantly look to finding clarity & certainty you crave before you actually start but instead of taking action to find it, it keeps you stuck and sometimes trying to solve the wrong problem.
You have everything inside you right now and I can help show you the way.
If you want to be successful in your business, health or life and start following through on your goals and ideas instead of constantly avoiding, let’s chat. I can help you!
Please leave a comment on what you find difficult to follow through on in your life or business?